Blogmas #5 Letter to my Mum

Dear Mum,

There’s so many times I’ve wanted to tell you I love you over the years but I’ve always felt awkward doing it as we have never expressed our emotions like that, but I do love you. You are someone who is a good role model – afterall you bought Barry and I up single handed after Dad upped and left.

I never appreciated how much you did for us. The meals you skipped so we could eat and there’s me not eating it because I’m fussy with my food. It makes me hang my head in shame when I look back at all the times I took my full plate of food back to the kitchen.

Then there was the school trips. I realised in secondary school that we couldn’t afford them but it never stopped you from making the ends meet if we wanted to go on the trips.

Looking back now, I realise all the heart ache I’ve put you through with past relationships – I always had the knack of picking the wrong guy! All you could do is warn me and watch me making the mistakes you didn’t want me to make and having to deal with the aftermath of it all!

You’ve let me get on with life, allowed me to make my own decisions -whether they be good or bad – and supported me along the way and been there whenever I’ve needed you.

I’m sorry for all of these things, but most of all I’m sorry for it turning to you before I got diagnosed with cancer. I should have come to you but I couldn’t bring myself to tell you. We’d never been too close until that day I told you and now I wish I had, you should have been the first to know.

You’re amazing Mum. Nothing phases you that’s for sure. You should be proud of what you have done and how you have bought the two of us up, because I for one couldn’t be prouder of you and to say you’re my Mum!

Love you always

Your pain the bum but loving daughter xx


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